I'm a dude!
First World Problems
Totally challenged you, then didn't check up on that. Defibrillator's a pretty good one, but... does kind of go back on the "morbid obesity" angle. Deodorant doesn't actually imply anything new, just the same lack of personal hygiene, but you knew that, and didn't find it funny, and originally "anything else" did refer to "besides fat/sexless jokes," so you've met the technical requirements of the challenge. Gotta say, though, I was hoping you'd come through with a good one.
No more memes tagged with "blizzard" ;(